


And That Guy in the Movie With That Horse

by PeachyLana



Category: 2 Broke Girls, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Don't Read This, Gen, Kat Dennings - Freeform, This wasn't my idea but I'm cool with it now, Trash Fic, did you read that I said that this is a trash fic?, half not, half rpf, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 10:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4016890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyLana/pseuds/PeachyLana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A snippet of a stupid prompt my husband gave me just to fuck with me.  It's ridiculous and has been sitting around on my computer for years(obviously since when it was set).  It's 2 Broke Girls interacting with the RPF world of the Avengers cast.  Yeah.  I can't even call this a story.  If you're THAT bored then I guess go ahead....</p>
            </blockquote>





	And That Guy in the Movie With That Horse

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't good. I can't even bring myself to read through the entire thing again(so be prepared for terrible grammar and comma splices). But I hope it's stupid, fun, and entertaining for the two minutes it takes to peruse.

 

“Catering for a freaking movie?  Caroline, have you lost your mind, because we will get kicked off set in five minutes.  Hopefully, _after_ I get every actor to sign these,” Max motioned to her ample cleavage.  

“Max, we’ll be fine.  Just stay calm and try to act nice and normal.”  Caroline barely held her anxious energy in check.  The large bracelets on her small wrists jingled annoyingly as her hands shook.

“Normal?”  Max adjusted her low cut black shirt and pants, thankful to not be wearing yellow and red.  “Where the hell is Tony Stark?   Damn, I want a piece of that.”

“You and the older guys…” Caroline glanced around trying to get a glimpse of anyone famous at all.

“Daddy issues,” Max shrugged. “Not as if I haven’t mentioned that hundreds of times!”

Caroline's camera was ready on her embarrassingly out-dated phone.  “I’m all about Chris Evans in that Captain America suit or Hemsworth…or anyone hot named ‘Chris’.”  She grinned at Max maniacally.  “And I’m going to tweet it in everybody’s face!”    

“So much for being professional.”  Max replied as other staff walked by and gave them both weird looks, obviously overhearing their conversation.  Max wasn’t sure what scene was presently being filmed, but if she could watch RDJ in action and within 2 feet from her, she was set for life.  

“I think I see someone!”  Caroline gasped and nearly threw herself over a railing as she leaned over to ogle.  

“Think we could sell autographs for some cash?  I was thinking of a new cupcake recipe.”  Max looked over, but her roommate was drooling at two guys that were probably named Chris.  “Hey!” Max snapped her fingers in Caroline’s face.  “You saidI can’t eye-fuck the actors so neither can you.  Save it for your vibrator at home.”

Caroline snapped back with a glare, but her blue eyes widened in shock as she faced her friend.  “Max…”

“What?  Just keep that threesome in your head for later.  Personally, I find it a bit boring, just bring in everyone and just do the orgy.”  

“Will you shut up,” Caroline hissed as she continued to stare past her.

“What?”  Max never had one of those ‘sinking feeling’ moments, but was pretty sure this was what she should be experiencing right now.  She turned around, now face to face with the “bad guy”.  She had no idea who he was and vaguely recognized that he was in an earlier movie of whatever comic book franchise.  She honestly hadn’t paid that much attention to him.  “Oh.  Hey there, tall guy.”

He smiled; it looked sinister with the make-up and costume.  “How are the both of you?”  He asked with the most sincere, nicest voice.  It was off-putting.

Caroline stuttered, but Max piped up.  “Good, but you don’t have to talk to us.  We just shove food in your face and you eat it then barf it up later right?”  Her eyes lingered lower to his tight costume.  “You’d have to, to fit into that.  Looks uncomfortable unless you were really into S&M.  Anyway, cupcake?”  She didn't miss a beat holding a tray up to him with a big, fake smile and tilted her head.

“I’ll definitely have one later, thank you…Max.”  He read from the nametag on her chest.

“No problem,” Max waved as if it was nothing.  He took her outstretched, gesturing hand and shook it.  Her wide eyes couldn't encapsulate half of the awkwardness she was experiencing.  This guy didn’t mind her abrasiveness, and that didn’t sit well with her.  “Well you’re a friendly one, aren’t you…”  Who the fuck was this guy?  It wasn’t like he wore a name tag, and pulling up IMDB with one hand would be a bit arduous.

“Tom,” he finished.  

“Cool, Tom.  Nice accent.”

“Isn’t though?”  His slightly evil looking smile only made her grin a little more.  

 

He had a sense of humor and she always appreciated that.  “I need to keep my eye on you.  Don’t know much, but I know you’re trouble.”

“Well,” he stepped back, hands out to show her what he was wearing.  “I am the god of mischief.”

Max crossed her arms.  “That doesn’t sound impressive.”

“Funny, I think it’s quite the opposite.”  He said bluntly, and looked like he was ready to get into a deep conversation about it when Caroline hissed her name angrily.

Tom nodded his head to the blond girl.  “Are you going to introduce me to your friend?”

“Who her?  Nah!”  Max smiled as Caroline glared back at her.  

“I’m Caroline,” she stepped forward being as utterly polite and upper-class as possible.  Max bit back her laugh at how straight Caroline’s back could get, she gained a good two inches in rich posture mode. “I’m a huge fan.”

Max raised a brow.  “Don’t go all upper east side on him.”  Max glanced between the two of them.  “And a huge fan?  You know who he is?  I haven’t heard you talk about him once.”  

Caroline rolled her eyes.  “I know who he is because the movies I watch aren’t exclusively animated or porn.”

Max looked to Tom who was very amused by what he was witnessing, instead of rightfully offended.  “Well, what else am I supposed to watch?  That one movie about a horse?  I don’t think so.  I already have a horse.”

“Chestnut is MY horse, and he’s in that movie!”  Caroline’s voice raised as she pointed right at the man in front of them.  Her flailing took away from the millionaire air she was going for.  

“Oh.” Max smiled, clearly not embarrassed.  “Still doesn’t interest me.”  She winked at Tom, and he lightly laughed.

“Lovely to meet the both of you,” Tom said looking directly into Caroline’s eyes, then Max.  “I should get back.”

“Yeah, get out of here and back to work.”  She even shooed him away.  “Earn those millions, and tell Joss he needs to get on season two of Firefly before the main cast is too damn old.”  Max glanced over to Caroline.  “I think that went well.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


“He’s even more gorgeous close up,” Caroline muttered as she kicked off her shoes.

“Are you still talking about whatshisname?”  Max threw off her jacket and going directly to the fridge.

“I’m frankly shocked you don’t find him attractive.”

“Who said I don’t think he’s attractive?  He’s okay.”  Max said shrugging her shoulders.  “I’m sure he’s a dick like most other celebrities.”

“Whatever you do, don’t google him okay.  It may just ruin your life.”

“Impossible!  My life is already ruined.”

 

* * *

 

Day 2:

Oh god,” Caroline gripped Max’s arm suddenly as she attempted to duck under the table for a quick nap.  “It’s Chris!  He’s coming this way.”

“Which one?  Human torch or-“

“The Aussie hot one,” Caroline immediately started messing with her clothing.   “Do I look okay?”

“You look like a spaz.”

“Morning, Tom told me you had the most delicious cupcakes in this city.”

“Tom?  Who’s this Tom people are talking about?”  Max asked.

Chris looked confused.  “Strange, he told me you’d say that.”

“Oh yeah?  Did he say I’d say this too-“

“Max!”  Caroline dodged in front of her.  Max rolled her eyes and backed off, letting her roommate flirt with the married man with a child.

The job was a cakewalk, just making sure things were ready and available.  Most of it was sitting around.  Max leaned back in her chair, invested heavily in a game on her phone when she realized someone was standing right in front of her.  

“If you’re trying to distract me, you have to do better than that.”  She said not looking up, until she heard his laugh.

“Nice horns.”  Max looked over Tom’s armored costume with a nod of approval. “I’m reading a whole lot of sexual innuendoes here, but they’re too easy.”

“Try and calm yourself, human,” he said his Loki voice and Max kept it cool even though it was pretty convincing.

She laughed.  “Shut up I googled you so it’s on now.”

Tom pulled off the helmet and laughed.  “And what did you find?”  He certainly didn’t look worried.

“Nothing good.”  It was true.  

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“Meh it’s alright.  I’ve had a lifetime of that.  That was pretty good stuff out there.  You totally can pull off a psychotic bastard.  Almost too easily….” She gave him a raised brow.  

Tom didn’t miss a beat and gave his best evil smile, his voice still in deep, raspy Loki-mode.  “Glad you enjoyed it.”

“If anyone is looking for an extra to get killed, I volunteer.”

His relaxed posture looked completely out of place in costume.  “That’s the part you want to play?  

“Well, I’d let Loki bang me, Viking-style but I don’t think this is rated R.”  

“Sounds like NC17 to me.” Caroline said sidling up.  “Maybe don’t sexually harass the movie stars?”

“I’m not offended,” Tom said, still smiling.  “You both are incredibly sweet.”

“Sweet?”  Caroline repeated.  “You have spoken to her right?”  Her eyes went over Tom’s hair.  “Who is the hair and makeup person here?  These extensions are amazing.  You dyed your hair?”  

Tom looked incredibly surprised but smiled at the sudden attention it brought the woman.  “Yes,” she was eyeballing closely.  “You can touch it if you want,” he could tell her hands were about to anyway.

“I need something like this.  I was thinking more of a honey blond instead of the ash blond I have now, you know?”

Both Tom and Max didn’t know who she was speaking to.  Max laughed, but smacked Caroline on the arm.  “Stop fisting Loki’s hair; that’s sexual assault right there and I would know.”  

“Seriously, that’s my job.”  Scarlett’s distinct voice caught their attention.  She crossed her arms in her cat suit.  

“Oh so we can’t borrow one?”  Max asked.  

The redhead smirked.  “I like this one.  You can have Jeremy.”  She pointed over her shoulder.  

He looked up at hearing his name.  “What?”

 

Max crossed her arms mimicking Scarlett’s stance.  “You’re offering Hawkeye?”  She laughed.  “I have a fucking god here.”

Tom chuckled glancing at Scarlett.  “You can’t blame her, it isn’t an even trade.”

“Aw, don’t be mean to him.”  Caroline looked to the clueless Renner again.  

“Is this where the party’s at?  Why wasn’t I invited?”   Robert came up from behind with a hand on Max and Caroline’s shoulders throwing himself into the group conversation.  She felt her mouth dry.  That was a first.  She literally was speechless. “Someone’s having too much fun over here.”

“Oh shit, they’re calling for us,” Scarlett said poking Robert.  She waved to the girls and they both walked off.  Tom was looking at Max’s face.  

“Did he literally take your breath away?”  He asked with a smile.  “I didn’t think that was possible for you without actual choking involved.”

“Me either.”  Max said with strain to her voice.  “Glad you got enjoyment out it.”  

“I admit there was a bit of schadenfreude in that.”

She finally took a deeper breath. “I was wrong.  You’re pretty cool, Loki.”   She looked around.  “Where’s Caroline?”

“She’s over there, talking to Jeremy.”  Tom gestured to the two having an animated conversation.

“Hawkeye?  God damn it, she can do better than that.”  

****  
  
  


* * *

**  
**  
  
So that happened.  I'm sorry.  I'm glad I stopped it before it went to trash smut.  I know I'm not the only person to think of shit like this.

 

****  
  
  
  



End file.
